Our new Normal

Or our new crazy (cause I think calling us normal is a long shot)

I cried but deep down I knew……the doctor pulled me out of the room while the nurse stayed with Jacob and Annika. I held Kali and heard the words, “he has Juvenile Diabetes”. My ignorance made the moment doable and then she said, “Jacob will need to be admitted to Children’s Hospital and he will be there for the next four or five days”. That is when the tears came, I had a lot to process and two of my treasures were in the next room waiting for me to return. My conversation with God went something like this….”please Lord give me the courage to walk in there”. He did and in I went. The kids and I making idle chit chat while my brain tried to run through the details, when could I get away to call David, what and how should we tell Jacob, will David be able to take off work, what will we do with the girls, what about my commitment tonight, oh man….I do not think our lives will ever be the same. The sweet distraction of the kids was the best thing for me. They were laughing and being joyful and making Kali laugh and all I could do was praise God. Praise God we heard the word Diabetes and not Cancer. Giving thanks for the little man still standing before me, seemingly healthy to most. This Mama’s heart knew though, the constant thirst and urination, the second bout of strep throat and the weight loss to boot, something was happening in his little body I just did not know what. Now I did! The next few hours a blur. I called David….we stayed strong. We headed out to lunch and then home to pack up. The girls stayed in my parents care for the evening and We headed down to Children’s. We told Jacob he had to see another doctor but he knew there was more to our story. When we walked into room 217 Jacob gave us the , I need to know more look and that is when David and I sat beside him on the bed he would be in for the next three days. We told him about what we knew about diabetes (which was not much), we told him we were going to learn together and that when he had a question or concern we wanted him to ask. There were tears in his eyes but he did not cry and that would be how it remained for the next three days. Countless finger pricks, blood draws and shots and our brave little guy NEVER cried. David and I learned…..we learned a lot about something we never expected to be concerning ourselves with. We prayed, we prayed a lot! There was much to be thankful for and yet so much I feared. David was a rock, he was so encouraging to Jacob and I. He was brave. He gave his little man shot after shot and encouraged me with love to do the same. If I could show the doctors and nurses I could draw insulin and give our guy a shot then we could leave. I had to find the courage only God could give me. He did! And, that has brought us to our new normal or crazy as life would have it.

Playing WII.....fun stuff, I am pretty sure he felt like he was at Disneyland

Good times with Dad....ALL to himself:)

If you feel like you might find yourself in the same situation as I found myself in, not quite sure what type 1 Juvenile Diabetes is I will try and give a brief explanation please know this is just my understanding thus far and I still have a lot to learn. We really do not have any idea when but at some point a month or two ago Jacob’s body most likely tried to fight a virus and in the process his immune system turned and fought his pancreas instead. Basically it attacked itself instead of the virus. Because of that his pancreas began to stop producing insulin. Without insulin his body is not able to break down the carbohydrates he eats. Since his body was not able to use those carbohydrates for energy it started to use fat and muscles to keep him going. Because of this Jacob started to loose weight and his body began to produce a high volume of Ketones. Praise God we discovered this before the ketone buildup started a process called ketoacidosis. At that point other organs start to be affected. Unfortunately this process that the body starts is not reversible and once the pancreas stops producing insulin it does not start again. While for now it is called Juvenile Diabetes it is not something that he will grow out of. Until there is a cure Jacob will always have type 1 diabetes. He can live a perfectly normal life…..we just have to put the insulin in his body since it is no longer going to produce it on its own. We are incredibly grateful this is a condition we can manage and that Jacob can still be a healthy normal little guy. We just have a new way of doing things, not bad, just new. We get to be a part of what most of our bodies do without any of us ever thinking about it. Type 1 diabetes can not be controlled by diet. Knowing what you put into your body is SUPER important because that determines the amount of insulin you put in but in no way is it something that can be completely controlled by what he eats.

Visiting Hours

Our experience this far while tough has also been amazing. Jacob is so brave and on day five of his diagnosis he is already pricking himself and testing his own blood. He is such a trooper. Of course we are not letting him do his injections, they are sometimes complicated, combining more than one type of insulin and an error can cause some dangerous side effects. Still this little guy is amazing us and causing us to follow suit. Numerous times David has referred to him as his hero. The day after coming home from the hospital was the most intense. Jacob was in his comfort zone and he lost it. Everything he was stressing about and feeling came out. There were tears for the first time and some anger and questions of why me. So tough for this Mama’s heart but clearly God made him this way for a reason. I might be biased but he is one amazing kid and this most certainly does not change that if anything it makes him that much more amazing….you know if that is possible. Man I love this kid!!!!!!! I am pretty sure I just used the word amazing over a dozen times to describe him!
I have so much more to tell…….so much more but I will save it for another time. Wait till you hear how God has been providing for us in this last week!

We were blessed by many amazing nurses!